59: Planning for College with Linda Katz

February 15, 2019

Today, we’re talking to Linda Katz or Right Fit College Coaching.

Linda specializes in providing students with ADHD and similar learning disabilities with comprehensive college planning.  She helps them find the colleges that will best suit their interests and needs, and then helps them through the application process.

In today’s episode, we talk about the college application process, how important it is for our kids to try out the career they’re looking at before committing four years of study to it,  how to find just such an internship in high school, and how college is different from high school.

 

Shameless Plugs:  

 

Podcast Support:

  • Today’s Episode was edited by Jeffrey Gordon of Ideal Video Strategies.  Go to www.idealvideostrategies.com to learn more about their work.

 

Guest Links:

 

ADHD Essentials Links:

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58: 8 Ways to Help Your Kids Manage Stress & Anxiety

February 8, 2019

In today's episode, I discuss 8 Ways to Help Your Kid Manage Their Stress and Anxiety.

 

 

In Advance

1.  Reduce sensory stimulation

2.  Set & Have Reasonable Expectations

3.  Be clear about your own escalation

 

(4-6) In the Moment

4.  Help them get grounded in reality

5.  Name emotions

6.  Reflective Listening

(7-8) In the Aftermath

7.  Forgive

8.  Fix

 

Shameless Plugs:  

 

 

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57: A Good Relationship Pushes Us to Be a Better Person with Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA

February 1, 2019

Today, we’re talking to Ari Tuckman.

Dr. Tuckman is a psychologist in private practice, specializing in diagnosing and treating children, teens, and adults with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. He has appeared on CNN, National Public Radio, The New York TimesUSA Today, The Washington Post and The Boston Globe. And now, he’s on the Pod! 

In today’s episode, we talk relationship skills.  The episode focuses on marital and parent/child relationships, but the concepts discussed apply to all of them.  And we dig deep, discussing the roles effort, shame, problem-solving, communication and even asymmetrical information play in our relationships.  I really enjoyed doing this episode, and think you’ll enjoy listening just as much.

 

Guest Links:

 

Shameless Plugs:  

 

In Today’s Episode We Discuss:

  • Happiest ADHD couples felt that their partner put in good effort on managing ADHD
  • The importance of communication
  • Prioritizing relationship & partner needs bodes well for a relationship
  • If it’s easy for me, but hard for you, I might not give you enough credit for doing it.
  • Why scapegoating ADHD is a bad plan
  • Bob Brooks’ Islands of Competence
  • The narrative of imbalance
  • “Is this how it needs to be?  Do we have better options?”
  • Demystifying the perils of doing the dishes
  • Why we rate our effort as higher than that of others
  • Changing our questions/assumptions
  • The anxiety of not doing your job.
  • “We can’t expect our partner to behave better than we do”
  • “Giving the other person your dilemma”
  • Emotional self-regulation is the key to healthy relationships
  • Strategies for having hard conversations
  • A good relationship is one that pushes us to be a better person
  • Modeling self-advocacy & flexible problem-solving
  • Communicate honestly.  Listen respectfully. Work together.
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56: ADHD, Small Not-For-Profit Private Schools, and the Muslim American Experience with Dr. Noor Ali, Principal of Al Hamra Academy

January 25, 2019

Dr. Noor Ali is the principal of Al Hamra Academy, a private K-8 Islamic School.  Al Hamra. Noor has long been an advocate for students with special needs, and brings her strong advocacy, and thoughtful manner to the pod!

In today’s episode, we talk about the intersections and commonalities between the Muslim and ADHD experiences, the importance of celebrating your child’s diagnosis, the special education challenges faced by small faith-based schools, and how a child is like an interactive canvas. 

 

Guest Links:

 

Shameless Plugs:  

 

 

In Today’s Episode We Discuss:

  • Noor's experience with ADHD in the Islamic Community
  • Bringing parents to the idea of ADHD
  • Why it can be easier to blame the child than to pursue a diagnosis
  • Getting advanced degrees is possible with ADHD & Dyslexia
  • Micro-aggressions and feeling like your experience is irrelevant to the mainstream
  • 10 year old Muslim girl gets death threats at school
  • How Ramadan & Afternoon Prayer could single out Muslim students,
  • Why it’s important to teach about these cultural differences
  • Special Education in a private school vs. a public school
  • Coaching parents
  • Universal Design
  • Teaching is hard, meaningful work
  • Mentorships foster resilience
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55: Stress Management with Jason Dulac, M.Ed., M.S.

January 18, 2019

Today, we’re talking to Jason Dulac.

 Jason is a mental health counselor, and expert in stress management, having taught about it at the college level.  He’s also an old friend.  We’ve worked together as both teachers, and as mental health clinicians.

In today’s episode, we talk about the physical nature of stress, various levels of stress management ranging from short term Band-Aids to  more long-term approaches, and I even share a story about the time I was assaulted in Whole Foods.

 

ADHD Essentials Links:

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54: Being Outrageous to Keep Their Attention, with Lauren Mahan, teacher. (Special Guest Appearances by Nathan and Gavin Mahan)

January 11, 2019

Lauren Mahan is a fourth-grade teacher in Massachusetts, and my sister! That’s right, I’m celebrating the anniversary of the pod with family!  And since Nathan and Gavin are in fourth grade this year, and Lauren is their aunt, we had them sit in on the interview, and contribute their thoughts.  You’ll hear about 4th grade from both sides of the teacher desk.  (As well as on top of it!) 

In Today’s Episode We Discuss:

  • Why teaching every kid like they have ADHD works
  • How costumes affect the classroom
  • The influence of Ms. Frizzle
  • Showing your work
  • "Sideways Stories from Wayside School"
  • Writing on desks in math
  • Teaching on tables
  • ADHD is more than one fire to put out
  • Teaching sarcasm and fidgets
  • The importance of recess
  • The power of class pets
  • ADHD & Anxiety
  • If the kids didn't learn it, you didn't teach it

 

ADHD Essentials Links:

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53: Three Tiered Goal Setting & 2019 Intentions

January 4, 2019

In today's episode, I walk us through how I'm setting my goals for 2019.  I think you'll find it useful.  In fact, this is probably a good one to share with your middle school and older kids.  

Shameless Plugs:  

 

In Today’s Episode We Discuss:

  • Intentions vs. Resolutions
  • Setting goals with emotions in mind
  • SMART Goals
  • Pre-Mortems
  • Brendan's quest for a Black Belt
  • The role shame plays in derailing us from our goals
  • Using accountability & scheduling to keep our goals on track
  • Alexa as a reminder tool
  • The power of being a role model for our kids as a motivation tool
  • Happy New Year!

ADHD Essentials Links:

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52: ADHD & Giftedness with Dr. Robert Gruberman

December 28, 2018

Kids with both ADHD and giftedness, and often referred too as "Twice Exceptional".  Today, we're talking about them.  (But not behind they're back.  They're welcome to listen in.)

Our guest for today's episode is Dr. Robert Gruberman.

Robert is the director of his school district’s gifted and talented program.  He has been assessing and teaching gifted children in his district for nearly two decades, and has been a public educator for even longer.

In today’s episode, we discuss ADHD and giftedness through the lens of an academic expert in the field.  We talk about the various components of giftedness, and where they overlap with ADHD, the social emotional side of giftedness, how twice exceptional kids are affected by having both ADHD and giftedness, and how to help kids with ADHD, giftedness, or both, manage the challenges they face.

 

Shameless Plugs:  

 

In Today’s Episode We Discuss:

  • The various components of Giftedness
  • The Social-Emotional side of Giftedness
  • Models of the solar system upsetting a 4-year-old
  • The overlap between ADHD & Giftedness
  • Giftedness & ADHD are not two sides of the same coin
  • Shared characteristics, arrived at differently
  • But there’s lots of crossover
  • Giftedness and ADHD can exacerbate each other when they co-occur.
  • When school challenges become home challenges
  • Work in short bursts toward small, manageable goals
  • The importance of getting kids invested
  • The power of choice
  • Peer support
  • “All Summer in A Day”
  • Don’t rush to judgement

ADHD Essentials Links:

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51: Gifted with ADHD, with Aurora Remember Holtzman, ADHD & Gifted mother of an ADHD & Gifted Child

December 21, 2018

Today, we’re talking to Aurora Remember Holtzman.

Aurora is a school psychologist, host of the “Embracing Intensity” podcast, and a twice exceptional mother of a twice exceptional son. They both have ADHD and giftedness. 

In today’s episode, we’re talking ADHD and giftedness through the lens of someone who’s living it.  We explore growing up gifted, impulsiveness vs impulsiveness, the value of teachers who “get” your kid, and the importance of learning to self-regulate as a parent.

 

Guest Links:

 

Shameless Plugs:  

 

In Today’s Episode We Discuss:

  • Growing up Gifted with ADHD
  • High achievers will achieve regardless of supports
  • Gifted kids struggling with Executive Function of Social Skills need support
  • The value of growing up with a foundation of acceptance and love
  • Adulting can be a challenge
  • Aurora’s son being too distractible to nurse
  • The effects of missing meds
  • Missing meds is not an excuse for poor behavior
  • Looking for the off-kilter reasons for behavior
  • Compulsive or Impulsive?
  • Looking at behavior through the lens of Dopamine
  • Relationships with teachers affects engagement
  • Exponential reactions to stressors
  • “Self Reg” by Stuart Shanker
  • It's hard to not escalate when your kid is melting down
  • The importance of learning to self-regulate as a parent
  • Weaknesses as the flipside of a strengths

 

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50: Talking to Our Kids About Sex (Our Context is Not Their Context) with Erika Miley, Mental and Sexual Health Therapist

December 14, 2018

We made it to 50 episodes!!  Thanks for being a part of it

!!

You might want to preview this if you tend to listen with your kids, because in this episode, we're discussing how to talk to our kids about sex. 

Today, Erika Miley guides us through talking to our kids about sex.  We start with talking to younger kids about sex, and the move on to older kids as the episode progresses.  Regardless of the age of your child, there should be something in this episode that you find useful.

You can find Erika at www.ErikaMiley.com.

 

Shameless Plugs:  

I’m offering 3 sessions of the ADHD Essentials Online Parent Coaching Groups.  They’ll start the week of Jnaiuary 20th.  One session will be at noon on Mondays and Wednesdays.  Another at noon on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and the final session will be Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm. 

Registration closes next Friday, December 21st.

 

Guest Links:

 

In Today’s Episode We Discuss:

  • Kids can learn about it from you, or from the internet.  Your choice.
  • When to start talking to kids about sex
  • Where to begin when talking about sex.  (Hint: It’s not intercourse.)
  • Typical developmental behavior
  • Helping kids understand consent
  • You don’t need to tell the about everything at once.
  • The importance of really listening
  • Times to talk to kids about sexual safety
  • Why we shouldn’t use cutesy names for genitalia
  • Sex talk with older kids
  • The importance of open-ended questions
  • Ask the question, shut your mouth
  • “Let me give you context.”
  • It’s okay to say, “You don’t want to know.”
  • Working as a parenting team
  • Porn will come to your kids
  • And it’s performance.  Not reality
  • Where to get better sex info
  • Scarleteen.com
  • Every question is an opportunity
  • Give the gift of curiosity
  • Our context is not their context
  • Kids talk above their heads
  • Dopamine seeking behavior & playing with sexual language
  •  Framing sex conversations around family values
  • Relationships > Sex
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